Friday, February 22, 2008

El amor es-posible


Solia penzar que nada era para siempre, que el amor era toda una serie de momentos excepcionales que tarde o temprano teminarian rompiendose por una u otra fatidica razon. Anoche luego de hacer un esfuerzo increible por encontrar el aeropuerto de Ft Lauderdale, manejar 50 largos minutos para recoger a mi amor que volvia de NY city, me di cuenta de lo mucho que lo amo, y al mismo tiempo que el amor no era esa desastrosa comedia que solia vivir antes de conocer a mi esposo. Al llegar al aeropuerto a recogerlo, me perdi un poco y me di cuenta como mi frustracion e ira no era contra el increible complicado acceso del lugar. Era que llevaba 4 dias sin verlo. Esos dias fueron largos y extranos... Era como si algo me faltara por dentro, es como sin el mi historia no se pudiera completar. Finalmente luego de manejar un rato por arriba y por abajo, saco la mano y brincando viene hacia a mi. Mi corazon latia tan fuerte que mi perro Bear que viajaba conmigo lo podia oir. Ya viene, tranquila. Hola, me abraza fuertemente y me dice, como te extrane... El clima frio no esta hecho para estar solo. Yo tambien te extrane le digo. Y no fue solamente extranarlo, era que ahi en sus brazos, volvi a sentirme completa de nuevo. Mi media mitad, naranja, pelota, corazon. Con el me quiero envejecer, por que es la unica persona que logror convencerme de que el amor si dura para siempre. Y yo le creo.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Welcome back to Fantasyland

Last time I work for a porn company, it was nothing but fun and good times. I had my old department, my beautiful office, budget for eveything we need it, free insurance, parties, trips, and many things that made having that job, the best job in the world. When everything had to end for various reasons I was crushed and very depressed. That company was like my first boyfriend, it was so good to be there that like Murhpy will said, it could only end it up really bad. I am not sure what happened, if it was me or them, or both but I had to leave, I couldn't stand it... It went way too corporate. Today I am still trying to recover from that bad boyfriend. Is never going to be like working there again. I have that feeling that other job might be good, but I know those times would never come back.
And I tried to go back to "The Real World" and it sucked even worse. I went from a crazy Christian company to a dirty, filthy gumball machine warehouse... Until my phone rang. And I knew it was someone from the past, and I didn't want to get it, but I did. The interview went well and here I am. It's been 5 months since I came back to Fantasyland. My ex-boss told me once, we're like no other company in the adult industry. He was right. There's no other. and I've been in 2 more besides my loved ex-job. It's no joke. This is a tough business. I am just happen to be good at recruiting, reason why they keep me here. Where am I going after this? Is my life going to be recruiting for porn for the rest of it? I hope not, because the day I really want to be in the other world, I won't be able to adapt myself to it. That day Fantasyland will be the only world for me.